we struggle, and we struggle again.

by moving forward in life you just need to move forward i guess,

my senior gave me a courage sticker before she left.

"you can either stay back in safety or moving forward for growth"

i guess is something like that as long i get it.

by looking back almost a month in the company,

did i learn anything thing?

yes and you can't store all of them into you brain i think.

maybe i'm just too suck at life, maybe...

throwing temper to the other just to release my tension, i guess it doesn't work on me because i'm a masked man, but i did it already.

they stepped over my limit i guess,

i applied for a magazine graphic designer,

job should be just designing layout and explain why do i came out with this kind of design or maybe sometime i need to pick up phones and hit deadlines *i thought*

but now i need to come up with proposals and i need time to research and start planning an advertorial layout and apply in it yet must impress my boss with so called his 'cool' design and fusion and life stylish kind of thing in half day i guess then there's current jobs on my hands and feet too~!!! now could i execute them all at once?

i think i'm just too green~ i roughly calculated a time for coming up a whole good layout with quite okay contents and designs and also relevant for the magazine it takes at least 3-4hours. maybe i'm just too slow or what...

the boss is funny that he expected me to do the web as well~! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

of course i said i'll try my best and i already did. they still taking their own sweet time to hire their so called 'chosen one' to be their new web guy.

of course out there wouldn't have so many dumb asses like me got onto this sunkenship! fuck!

boss, and bosses. maybe i'm just too disqualified for your company and made you guys had high hope on me, now i'm about to fuck you guys off soon! unless i misjudged you in my post right now ( i hope that i misjudged you so you might gimme hope to stay. )

now my colleague another designer is about to leave too... hope she's just saying but if she's not happy of course wouldn't drag her along and sink with me.

working in a small size company, you can learn how to be your boss, in the kind of cheapskate boss yet wanna look so 'high rated'. i fuck you boss~ smoking cigar? if you just wanna show me you're the boss in that way, you might be too naive i must say.

the boss is someone even want to save electricity of a fax machine and asked the office boy to take out light bulbs from the office. OH NO!!!! you can afford to rent or buy the office suite in MID VALLEY yet you need to be so CHEAPSKATE!

damn~ i made my blog sound like a bitching blog!

suppose to be artsy yet no people understand and care what i write.

fuckers!

dear manager,

you're workaholic and i'm impressed somehow,

yet don't drag me in your swamp and try to be snobbish, you said you understand but pushing me at the same time, my eye swollen like bloody meatball dangling on my face yet you still did this!

"Dear vin, i hate to say this but could you possible to do this xxx advertorial for me? i need to meet the client in the evening."

fuck you and i didn't reply.

dear readers,

should i fuck them off?

or is my damn incapable?

there's my so called 'partners' (the boss claimed)

Boss - those who go buffet and must eat more than what he paid (he thought)

Marketing Director - the one who bunked to nowhere all time yet she so called operate the whole company... i guess... so...

Marketing Manager - workaholic, my senior claimed. She teamed up with the director and find clients and purpose our creative to get them in.

Office Boy -going with the flow of the company.

and 2 fresh designers, Intan and I.

I thought someone could help us on concept but so called marketing throw the balls on us.

I thought someone will oversee the magazine and we need to plan what we gonna feature in the magazine, even potential clients.

I thought there's a senior designer can teach me at least to do a good layout yet i'm the one who keep cracking it yet getting screw in the end.

we're like 2 blind mice keep banging around to get the cheese, but now i can't even smell it.

once again!

FUCK YOU BOSSES! SHOULDN'T HAVE SYMPATHY AND HUMANITY with you people.

since you don't treat us as human, we should care your feelings.

readers, should i just fuck them off or not?

vin, standing right infront of the crossroad and on quicksand

not so peaceman after all.